The first Chapter of "Act II" of the Book has been sent. I really like it. Early feedback is that I spend too much time on the details of GGL games in Scene 2. Totally understand this - a lot of it can be pushed back to later chapters when it's actually applicable. It was good to get it in writing though, I may use whole paragraphs from this chapter later on.
Some feedback I've gotten on Chapter 7 - Yes, Graedin is a whiny apologetic brat in Chapter 7. This was intentional, but I guess I overkilled it. I've made a note to tone it down and have him "man up" a little bit. At the same time, the reader is supposed to understand that he's in really stressed, fragile state right now. Everybody seems to hate him, people are hunting for him, and his best friend is drifting away. I have to keep this aspect in. I'll try to rewrite some of it so that it's not so awkward to witness.
Glad you're going to revisit Graedin in this chapter...I really think I understand his personality, but I don't want to dislike him along his personal journey. Young, eager to learn, mistaken about a lot is OK...just don't make him so flawed that when he does something heroic, it seems out of character.
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